


Quick And Paneless

by SEABlRD



Series: Brief Encounters of the... Awkward kind...? [4]
Category: Undertale
Genre: Awkward Encounter (tm), Other, POV Second Person, Papyrus saves you, Reader Insert, Reader Is Not Frisk, Serious Papyrus, you get stuck in a window but it's not your fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-04-26
Packaged: 2018-06-04 14:26:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6662431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SEABlRD/pseuds/SEABlRD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your cat stole your keys and, long story short, you somehow get the ""dad"" speech from Papyrus<br/>-------<br/>Part 4 for 'Something About Cats And Boxers'! you gotta read at least the first two to get the full context >v0</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quick And Paneless

**Author's Note:**

> WOW I'm so excited to get another chapter out this fast ???? I hope you guys like it! Sans doesn't make an appearance, but he is mentioned at some point \\( ;v; )/ sorry friendos
> 
> Inspired by @DukeOfNachos' prompt, but with Papyrus instead!

Whenever someone wants to talk about the love and joy of owning a pet, you want to smack them across the face. There’s nothing lovely or joyful about having a cat that steals everything he can get his grubby, thieving paws on. Lately your cat, Jug, has been on a key-stealing streak. This normally wouldn’t pose too much of a problem, since you only have three keys and you keep them all with you at all times.

The problem is, Jug somehow managed to steal the only key you cannot replace. You always have a spare bike key, and the other key was something from a long time ago, anyway. No. Jug had to steal the key to your apartment, which you cannot get a replacement for until next week when Robbie comes back from his vacation and puts you through the paperwork to get a new one.

So here is where you are, standing outside your apartment with your face pressed into the wood of the door. If only the quirky professor from across the hall could open his door, maybe he can help you get back into your apartment. Or at least tell you that your current suffering is artistic in some way. You feel kinda artistic right now, like one of those fake-deep tumblr posts with out of context quotes over a low-exposure photograph of a forest. 

There really is no other way around this. Maybe you should suck it up and ask Addison to let you crash at their place until you get a new key, or…

Maybe you can ask Sans or Papyrus to let you crash at their apartment until you get a new key. No, that would be too rude, wouldn’t it? You’ve only ever seen them two, three times before anyway. 

You hear a soft meow behind you and feel a familiar head butt against the back of your thigh and you turn slowly to face Jug, his smug little cat face beaming up at you. He knows full well what he’s done. He just loves seeing you suffer. 

Jug is out here, and not in there. He’s not in your apartment. How could you miss that? Of course! You always leave the window open for Jug to climb in or out of. How hard can it be to climb through the window, yourself? You could probably scale the decorative bricks on the side of the building and use the fire escape to get through the open window in the kitchen. 

You give Jug a stern look as you head to the stairs. He just meows and sits down, watching as you walk away.

It’s sweltering hot when you manage to exit the cool interior of the building (you cry on the inside when you step outside). You make sure nobody is watching you as you slink along the edge of the building until you reach the more secluded side of the building, the side with your windows. You know for a fact that your room’s window isn’t open, which is rather unfortunate since it’s closer to the fire escape, but the one in your kitchen is and that’s where you need to go.

You steel yourself, wiping your hands on your jorts, and have a feel for the decorative bricks on the corner of the building. You’d go for the fire escape ladder, but you’re not tall enough to reach it, so climbing it is. At least, until you can reach the fire escape. 

You always wondered why people would build buildings with such odd, protruding bricks on the side like this. Now you know, it’s for the poor bastards who lose their keys so they can climb back into their apartment through the windows. You heave yourself up the first few bricks, finding a solid foothold on one of the larger bricks. You thank whoever built this apartment building with such weird architecture as you begin your ascent. 

You wince every time your bare knees scrape against the building, cursing your terrible luck and your shitty cat. You pull yourself up a few more bricks, digging the tips of your fingers into the rough bricks. You almost lose your footing, and you make a series of curses and noises reminiscent of a wounded goose.

When you finally come close enough to the balcony of the fire escape, you give a breathless cheer and pull yourself onto it. You clamber over the metal railing and sit down to catch your breath. You give a small middle finger at the two windows with direct access to the fire escape. Whoever lives in the G and H apartments are rich assholes who don’t have to worry about climbing up the side of the building and across the fire escape to get to their windows. Okay, maybe they’d have to climb. But then again, they don’t have spiteful cat thieves as pets.

Once you’re sure you can make it the few feet across the building to reach your open window, you climb over the other side of the railing and begin scootching along the bricks. You make it to your window without any further problems, thankfully, and you get close enough to wrap your fingers around the window frame.

“Oh yes!” you cheer, heaving yourself in partially. You’re almost in, head-first, when you feel something snag. Oh no.

Why do these things happen to you? You hear a meow beyond the front door of your apartment, surely it’s Jug laughing at your predicament. You scowl in the direction of the door. You try to pull yourself in again, only to be jerked back by whatever got snagged in the windowsill. From the pulling feeling on your shoulders, you’d like to assume it’s your shirt.

Fuck. You hang on to the edge of the counter for dear life. You’d back up and un-snag yourself, but your feet are no longer on the bricks and you’re pretty sure you won’t be able to regain your footing even if you try to ease yourself backward. You throw a mini tantrum, kicking your legs pathetically, wondering what you might have done in a past life to deserve this.

“NEW HUMAN?” an unfortunately familiar voice calls. “IS THAT YOU? I’D RECOGNIZE THOSE SHORTS ANYWHERE!”

You sigh and accept your fate. “Yeah, it’s me, Papyrus.” You call back, waving your foot in the general direction where you heard his voice. “What’s up?”

“NOT MUCH IS NEW WITH ME, NEW HUMA- WAS THAT A PUN??!” he yells accusingly, and you almost let go of the counter in surprise. Well, it wasn’t a pun when you said it, but now that he pointed it out…

“Aw, don’t get so hung up about it, Papyrus.” you choke back your laughter unsuccessfully, and you’re sure Papyrus is getting an eyeful of your ass shaking as you giggle. 

“I WAS GOING TO OFFER MY ASSISTANCE, BUT IT SEEMS YOU’RE DOING JUST FINE ON YOUR OWN.”

“No wait, I’m sorry! Please help me.” You’re almost whining at this point, but honestly you’re not sure you have any dignity left to preserve anyway.

“ALRIGHT, IF YOU INSIST.” You hear some sort of buzzing sound, followed by the same kind of shuffling you hear when you’re dragging squeaky shoes across tiled floor and trying to be quiet about it. “HOW DID YOU GET YOURSELF IN THIS POSITION, IF I MAY ASK?”

You sign. “Look, when you have a pet that steals things like mine, you get yourself into all kinds of wacky situations.”

“OH! I DO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN, NEW HUMAN.” You raise an eyebrow at Papyrus’ claim. “BACK IN THE UNDERGROUND, I WAS TORMENTED BY A SMALL WHITE DOG WHO STOLE ALL OF MY SPECIAL ATTACKS! I HAD TO RESORT TO USING COMPLETELY NORMAL ATTACKS. TRULY HUMILIATING!”

Not as humiliating as having your ass hanging out of your window, you think to yourself. 

You feel yourself being lifted and you squawk unhappily at this, but you see Papyrus’ gloved hand sliding under you to unhook your shirt from whatever it got caught on. You notice that it’s one of the older window locks that you never removed, though you certainly regret that decision now. Curse your laziness. Once he removes the fabric from the hook, he pushes you in through the window. You land on your arms, thankfully, and you ease yourself to the floor with a groan. 

“ARE YOU ALRIGHT, NEW HUMAN?” Papyrus asks, sounding concerned. You stand up to get a better look at him. Leaning forward a bit, you notice that he’s standing on a platform made of white bones.

“Yeah, I’m fine now. Thanks, Papyrus.” You dust yourself off and give him a smile. The tall skeleton seems pleased at this and nods approvingly.

“MAY I COME IN, NEW HUMAN?” he asks. You figure it would be rude not to invite him in, since he helped you, after all.

“Yeah sure, just come around and I’ll-”

You’re not even finished your sentence when Papyrus is sticking one arm of his through the window and climbing in with a level of skill you never would have pictured him having. You watch in complete silence as he crawls through the window, stepping back when he finally makes it all the way through.

“THANK YOU FOR INVITING ME IN, NEW HUMAN!” Papyrus shouts, throwing his arms wide. “YOU MUST BE HONORED TO HAVE THE GREAT PAPYRUS IN YOUR HUMBLE ABODE!”

You’re not sure if you want to take that as a ‘thank you’ or an insult. 

“I sure am!” you decide to humor him. Papyrus’ eyes light up and he sweeps you into a tight hug.

“WOWIE! AN HONEST COMPLIMENT?? YOU’RE NICER THAN MOST OTHER HUMANS!” Papyrus lifts you off your feet and twirls you around like a doll. You feel a bit sad at his words. Were people usually not nice to him? 

“I wouldn’t say that I’m ‘nicer’, really.” You admit. “I’m just… decent, I guess. I do what everyone else should be doing.”

“WHICH IS BEING NICE.” Papyrus concludes, and you’re surprised at how much seriousness is behind that single statement. “THAT’S ALRIGHT, NOT MANY HUMANS ARE GENUINELY ACCEPTING OF MONSTERS. WE’VE GROWN USED TO IT.”

You are set back onto the floor and your eyes find your feet, refusing to look up at Papyrus. He- no,  _ no _ monster should be ‘used to’ being treated unkindly or with anything less than basic respect. The silence presses into you and you’re not sure what to say.

“Do Not Feel Guilty For Things That Are Not Your Fault.” You hear Papyrus say, though you didn’t think he could ever get this quiet. Or this serious. You look up at him and his face is smiling but you can tell his expression is grim. “Sans Thinks That I Don’t Hear It, But Humans Often Speak Badly Of Monsters, And Of Myself. I Know That They Don’t Truly Mean Harm, But They Are Scared Of Things They Do Not Understand Or Have Answers For.”

You shrug, looking away. “That doesn’t excuse people from being assholes, though.” You remind him, and he laughs.

“It Doesn’t, But It’s Not The First Time Humans Have Been Discriminatory Against Others Based On Wariness And Lack Of Understanding. I’ve Read Some Books About Human History, And You Guys Have A Long History Of Being Scared Of Losing Control Of A Situation. But That’s Alright, It’s Normal To Be Afraid Of Things We Don’t Know. We Just Have To Learn More, To Become Less Afraid.”

You have to take a second to understand that this skeleton, who has lived his entire life literally under a rock, managed to understand and analyze human history enough to conclude that… it’s not humans’ fault they’re mean? They’re just scared? And they have to learn to not be scared? You realize Papyrus is staring at you and you’re staring into blank space somewhere between his collarbone and his face. 

“Y- yeah, you’re totally right, buddy.” You stammer, feeling a small drop of sweat roll down your neck. The air conditioning hums loudly as you stare each other down, both trying to figure out what to say to each other. 

“It’s just that a lot of people are closed-minded,” you supply, finally. “They’re scared, and they don’t want to learn. They want to believe they’re always right or justified in being scared.”

Papyrus just nods and remains silent. You awkwardly motion to your living room/dining room, but he shakes his head and remains standing, pacing slowly around the kitchen. You shrug and grab a drink from the fridge, pulling yourself a seat nearby to watch him mull over the matter. 

“And What About You, New Human?” You nearly spit your drink all over him when he abruptly bends down to face you. 

“What about me?” you ask back, wiping a bit of your drink off your face. Papyrus stands up straight again and you find yourself intimidated by how serious he looks.

“What Are You Going To Do?” he clarifies, crossing his arms in front of his chest. You notice that he’s not wearing his battle body today, only a white crop top with jean shorts not unlike your own. “You Have Been Nice So Far, But What If Something You Don’t Understand Comes Up? Will You Be Afraid, As Well?”

You grin nervously, playing with your drink as you try to figure out what to say. “Papyrus, I would never-”

“My Brother Likes You, and I Know He Seems Mostly Calm And Collected, But On The Inside He Is Very Sensitive And Volatile.” Papyrus continues, as though you never started speaking in the first place. “His Magic Is Beyond Normal Monsters’, And It Can Be Scary At Times. It Was Scary To Me, When I First Saw it. Will You Continue To Be Nice To Him, Even If He Scares You?”

Ah, so that’s what this is about. Funny, you figured Sans would be more of the type to give the ‘dad’ speech. You know Papyrus isn’t looking for some halfhearted answer and a promise you don’t intend to keep, so you turn away from him and think real hard about it.

Sans really did seem much more chill than most monsters you’ve come across, despite being a walking skeleton with detachable limbs. You don’t know what ‘beyond normal monsters’ magic’ means, but you have a feeling in your gut that Sans isn’t and could never really be a bad guy, so you’re pretty confident in your answer. 

“I’d like to say that I won’t be scared, but I’m not perfect.” You begin slowly, watching Papyrus out of the corner of your eye. The skeleton doesn’t move, and you continue. “I might get scared of some things, I might not understand it all, but I’d also like to think that I’ll be the kind of person who won’t jump to conclusions, or at least wait for an explanation first. So I won’t have to be scared if he explains it to me. And I’d never be mean about something I don’t get.”

Papyrus seems contented by your answer, and you internally heave a sigh of relief. You’re not sure you can fight off a seven-foot tall embodiment of the grim reaper with magic powers. 

You’re calming yourself down when Papyrus calls from your multipurpose room (really it’s just a bedroom but nobody else lives with you anyway).

“HUMAN, ARE THESE MY BROTHER’S?”

Fuck, he must have found your hamper of clothes. You’d worn the infamous boxers a few more times since the last, but only out of necessity, since yours were in the wash at the time. “Yeah Papyrus, I was gonna return them as soon as I could!”

“NONSENSE, IF YOU WANT TO KEEP THEM SO BADLY YOU CAN.” he yells, and you hear some things shuffling around in there. You hope he’s not snooping through your stuff. You get up to stop him when-

“I was  _ not _ planning on keeping them??!” you nearly shriek, rushing into the room to correct him. God, he’s holding them up like Rafiki holding up baby Simba. You reach to grab them out of his hands, but he’s faster than you and he shoves them into his own pocket.

“VERY WELL, I’LL TAKE THEM TO HIM FOR YOU, SINCE YOU’RE SO KIND.” He grins smugly at you and you know he’s teasing you now. Your face must be so red right now. You wouldn’t know, since you can’t feel heat with your face anymore. When is summer going to be over?

“Fine, okay, whatever.” you say intelligently, watching him step around you and head toward the door.

He stops just before opening the door, however, and turns to you. “BY THE WAY, NEW HUMAN, WHAT IS YOUR NAME? I HAVE A FEELING WE'LL BE SEEING EACH OTHER A LOT MORE.”

“Huh?” what happened to ‘about a month’? “I… I’m _____.”

“VERY WELL, _____. UNTIL NEXT TIME!” You follow him out into the hall, in a bit of an embarrassed daze. Oh, you spot your keys under the table in your hall. Jug must have stashed them there. Papyrus gives you one last blinding smile as he opens the door and leaves, doing an adorable little salute gesture that you recognize from some anime you used to watch. Jug meows at him on his way out and watches him leave as well before striding back into your apartment.

You bend down to pet Jug as he walks by you, rubbing against your leg as if he hasn’t given you the worst quarter of an hour of your life. You head back into your multipurpose room and reach for your hamper. Might as well get some cleaning done.

Oh no. Papyrus took those boxers out of your hamper. You didn’t get a chance to clean them yet. And now he’s going to give them to-

Well, looks like it’s time to die of mortification and never leave your apartment for the rest of your life.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! If you have any prompts, feel free to dump them on me [HERE](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6465400/chapters/14817817)! or at my Tumblr, http://summerbxy.tumblr.com <3
> 
> you can check out [the floorplan I had in mind for Reader's apartment](http://sta.sh/01g46jyxvb6n)! I'm not sure how impressive or not it is, but that's the general idea of it. The Multipurpose room is basically a computer/crafts room. Maybe that's where Reader stashes all their anime cosplays, who knows


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